in Short stories

Battle for the gods

“Why are you fighting? What’s the matter now? Oya, leave her, you too leave her cloth. Can’t you hear me?” I screamed at Morili and Areni who were wrangling, both of them seething in anger as they send their wigs flying in the air like the furs of angry lions. “Can’t any of you answer me?” I said trying to make eye contact with them. None of them was looking at my direction. They kept a cold stare at each other and seemed like they would snare again the next minute. Their eyes were red and their clothes half torn. “What’s the problem?” I asked again.

“This idiot, this idiot came on Instagram to body shame me, this one that looks like a hungry cat is trolling me, I will finish you today” Areni answered me, breathing like a toad that swallowed a stone. One could tell she had no more physical strength to carry on with the fight but her mouth was projecting the opposite.

 “It is okay, please” I tried calming her down. I could count the veins in her body at that moment; the green and the red. It felt like they were suffocating perhaps due to years of using bleaching creams.

” Morili, why would you do that? What happened?” I faced Morili. She broke down in tears as if she had no prior knowledge of why the whole fight had started “How did I body shame her, what did I do? I only saw an advert of a brand that sells plus size lingerie and I shared with her, is that body shaming? Sharing useful information with my friend?”  Morili explained, stretching forth her hands like a guiltless housewife caught in bed with her concubine but who has genuine reasons to back up the act.

“Shut up,did I send you? Who told you I’m plus size, do you know my size more than I do? That’s how you told me to register at the gym beside your house, what’s your problem?  I’m fine the way I’m. I’m eating well and not suffering like you that’s why I look like this, hater oshi. You will not face your life, because you’re dating Taye now, you think you are everybody’s spec.  Taye that asked me out first that I rejected,oponu” Areni interrupted with a voice that projected her insecurity but a face of what they call “self-love” and pride. There was bitterness in her voice that showed that the fight was more than the Instagram thing she was laying claim to.

Women!! Always living complicated lives.  Quick to show off friendship but it doesn’t always take time for the ship to sink. They are the ones to give their friends all sorts of pet names from bestie to sugarcane to Berry berry. There is no sweet name that isn’t in their friendship dictionaries. But all don’t take long to get sour. I was confused at what to say to appease to both of them. If I should mention that Morili wasn’t wrong, I won’t hear the end of it from Areni. Supporting Areni will make me a staunch enemy of Morili even if they get to settle their rift.

I was running late for the football match I was going to watch, but I had to make peace and leave as soon as possible. Deep down, I felt Morili shouldn’t have shared such information with Areni. I mean it is a very sensitive topic. No one tells a woman she is adding weight nowadays. A comment as basic as ‘Can you sit properly or please adjust, you have taken all the space’ in public transport could cause trouble. It doesn’t make sense but then Morili should have known better. Before I could think of what to say, Morili roared like a lion to interrupt my thought.

“See! because I’m looking at you abi, you think you can run your mouth. I heard everything you said about me in the last sisters’ circle meeting. The way you told them that I use to borrow clothes to snap but didn’t remember to tell them how you beg guys to give you money every day. Why didn’t you tell the sisters that you followed a physically challenged man out on a date just so you can snap at Eko hotel? You told them I slept with your ex, did you tell them I was his pick before you used that cele perfume to snatch him?” Morili clapped back

I knew there was more to the irreproachable attitude she gave at first but I didn’t expect she would switch so quick. Last I checked, both were “crushing” over each other on Instagram. Best friends forever, Two-day goal. How could all these be coming out here? “That escalated so fast” I mumbled, trying to control my laughter at the ridiculous things I just heard.

“You still have the mouth to talk? Have you finished paying the balance of your iPhone money? Answer now? Have you finished paying? Fake girl, ‘miss poorpular’. Sebi I’m collecting money from guys, I’m not like you who pretend to be helping poor people to raise money only to divert such money for personal use. Do you think I didn’t know how you forged fake hospital reports recently, snapped the wounded leg of the mad man on the street and put on social media to raise funds? Or the fake poster of almsgiving society? Don’t get me started baby girl”

That was more than I could just take. At that point, I thought to myself “this battle is for the gods.” I had heard enough, not more, please. The god of soccer was calling out to me, so I heeded his call.

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26 Comments

  1. Hahahhlol all sort of names from bestie to sugarcane to Berry berry. This part got me, in all , women live fake lives! They are never tired, it is also so pathetic how members of our community now derive joy in looting others of their hard earned money in a bid to assist people.

  2. Lmao😂😂😂
    This is to say all the friendship goals you see on Instagram is not always what it looks like…many enemies claiming friends. If we can’t be true to ourselves, let’s just remain strangers.
    Nice one girl….I was entertained

  3. Oshey Omo mi ❤. This is so lovely and true you know. Social media love nowadays is so fake that you can always tell it, especially among ladies. Ladies of same age bracket calling each other momma just to fake a love that doesn’t exist to to make other ladies jealous of their fake friendship goal, well I enjoyed how much you talk about it on Whatapp status. Another great one Muna, this is really beautiful and cool to relax with. My brother and I were just laughing uncontrollably 😂 😂 😂.

    Please Muna, what a powerful reason can a married woman caught in bed with another man present to justify her act jhare? I am asking for a female friend

    • A great and true write up…👍.ladies slaying all around….forming stylish…posh lawa…..GOD dey o👐👐

      It was just the battle for the gods which no one could finished.

  4. This whole story is what is happening in real life.
    Fake life, following men to snap luxury picture, fake NGO.
    In all…. girls get wahala sha.

  5. 😂😂😂😂😂…..Muna on this one again…. First thing first Mehn the way you combine all this figure of speech Ehn 🙌🙌🙌….. Now I just learned a new one ‘Pooooooorpuuuularrrr ‘…More inspiration ma’am.. 💪💪

  6. 😂😂😂😂 this is a see me see trouble case, drink water and mind your business situation.
    This type of drama never ends, season film. Nice write-up ma🙌👍👍👍

  7. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  8. “Quick to show off friendship but doesn’t take long for the ship to sink”. That part got me. This is life’s drama. Funny but true. Welldone dear🙌

  9. A story that speaks volume.I see this social media bully transcending from one generation to another.
    Also,your choice of words are real ( the fight between the green and red veins as a result of bleaching)
    we will be alright las las

  10. Lol…I was just smilling all through. That part “breathing like a toad that swallowed stone😂😂😂 and red n green veins suffocating due to years of bleaching creams”. Sis, you write so well. Kudos to you!

  11. As hilarious as this post is, it’s the truth of the life some women live on social media.
    I sort of can’t wait for Instagram to be relegated like 2go or Facebook. Then let’s see what happens then.

    Beautiful piece Muna. I hope the gods settled their differences for them. Lol!

  12. Two friends living a fake life on Instagram and real life, the ship just got sink just because of little misunderstanding. Bottom line is don’t let your friends know much about your dealings. Nice write up.Weldone girl 💪

  13. So this is what I’ve been missing and no one hint me to to turn on post notification and bookmark this blog?? Aye le o. Aka tun ka ni story yi faaaaaa. More inspiration ma’am. Keep up the good work.

  14. Only god of ejowewe can settle this… Many pple still look up to these fake lives social media influencers as their mentors, praying for such happy life due to what they see on stories and status, yet beneath that lies d fake and disgusted live of many of them